Lot's of people I know have given up with the church. They say 'Mike, you're wasting your time. Working with the church is just too hard. You don't need the church!" Their comments make me think of the many men and women I have known who are on the same journey as I am on: out of homosexuality. They're not Christians, some have no faith to name at all. Yet they seek (and find) what they long for - freedom from homosexual desire, arousal and expression, increasingly. This seems to reinforce the fact that 'we don't need the church'. Its true - the church isn't essential for the journey, and you don't have to be a Christian to experience change. I'd go as far as to say "stay away from some churches!" - if they don't want to journey with you that is.
My church is a safe place for me. I love my church. There have been those who have been there for me. Some of them are scared to death of me, but still others are like salve. They anoint my head with oil. So I want the church. I know I will never be healed in isolation. I need the church. I depend on it.
That's not to say that we always agree, me and my church. I remember the day, more than a year ago, when a national organisation had sent letters around to all the local churches warning them about the new 'Sexual Orietation Regulations' about to be introduced to Northern Ireland. The suggestion was that we write to MPs at Westminster to register our concern. The template provided (on the organisation's website, not by the church) helpful(?) advice about how to write in a balanced way: "We are all made in the image of God.... Gay people have a right to shop, have a bank account..."). The really strange thing for me, was that no one seemed to pick up on the fact that the SORs document itself failed to define what was meant by 'orientation'. (Now there would be some ammunition). It would have been a good idea to let people who live with these issues have a voice I think.
I remember seeing the Christians marching in London, and the hightened exchanges between different leaders...
and I thought to myself, I'm not fighting that war, that way. I remembered the story of the dower churchmen protesting in their dog collars outside of a court where two men had just registered their civil partnership: "Jesus loves you" they called, "yes he does" came the response, "but you don't!". Sounds like some truth somewhere in that.
Thing is, after all that SORs became law. There was another fight and some modifications were made after a High Court ruling here in Belfast. Both sides claimed a victory... I think there is a war to fight: I'm not on either side. I think its a different war, one that needs fighting in a different way - but that's for another day.
